In a previous blog post, I partially discussed what actions parents should take when raising a child with autism. I talked about why it was important for them to abide by the rules and how that applies to their spiritual and emotional growth. While I sympathized that it is a hard job, I also tend to believe that being a parent to any child is hard.
But it's not over yet.
Today, I will be discussing more about what parents should do when raising a child with autism. I know it's a lot of work and it can be tiring, but you will be blessed for this in the future. If you love your child and want him/her to have a bright future, I recommend that you read this so that you can understand through my perspective what is best for your child. If this doesn't work for you, I'm very sorry. I hope you find something that does.
What I will also be teaching is how you can teach your child independence, just as I had promised in my previous blog. Without the proper mentor, children with autism are more likely to grow up without making the right decisions on their own. In other words, they may throughout most of their life - if not forever - depend on the wrong person about the path he/she chooses.
Now I know I've said this many times, but I want to remind you that this is a blog about learning. What I want for you is to learn how you can be the best mentor you can for your child. That way they can find the best role model to look up to when he/she needs help with something.
Anyway, I hope this helps you!
Work on Them at an EARLY AGE!!
I wasn't originally going to use this as my first topic, but then I realized that in order for children to learn, they have to begin at the early stages of childhood. Therefore, it is important to work on your child at an EARLY AGE!!
Why is that?
Well, when I was a toddler, I was taken to a doctor. It was years before my autism diagnosis came to light, but the doctor's observation of me was enough to conclude that I would never learn to read, write, or even talk. Nevertheless, my mom worked on me soon after, struggling for a while to teach me the alphabet (to which she later succeeded with the help of my grandmother).
Temple Grandin's mother worked on her at an early age as well. If you watched the movie, Temple Grandin, you can see that her mother started teaching her nonstop as soon as her daughter was given the diagnosis. Though it didn't work for her immediately, at least the movie ended with positive results.
Now I'm not saying to work on the child as soon as he/she gets the diagnosis. The truth is you don't know when or if your child will ever get a diagnosis. I never received my autism diagnosis until I was eight years old, but she started working on me at the age of two or three years old. In the end, I started talking in four-word sentences when I was six, and then spoke perfectly at the age of eight.
So the best time to start working on your child is the moment you see something wrong. If your child's language skills isn't developing properly, now is the time to start getting busy with him/her. As Temple Grandin said, "The worst thing you can do is nothing."
That's why it's very important that you work on your child now. It doesn't really matter how old your child is, I don't think the child is too young to start learning. In fact, every child starts learning the moment they are out of the womb. They learn to crawl before they turn one. They learn to walk before they turn two. If they don't learn to talk before they turn three, what's wrong with teaching them around that time?
Absolutely nothing.
Be a Teacher
If the child is in the process of learning how to crawl, walk, or talk, that means they are being taught. This means if you are teaching your children these things, that makes you a teacher.
While you may need a degree to be an educator, you don't need a degree to be a parent. Not that I support that, but there are parents who didn't even receive their high school diplomas, and many of these kids grow up telling us that they are the best parents they had. I don't have children - heck, I don't even have a degree in education - but I'm still teaching you from my blog posts based on experience and research.
However, I do work in the education field as a Personal Care Aide. Unfortunately, many of the students at the school I work at don't seem to have parents as teachers. Not to mention, the parents depend so much on the educators for their child's development. Even though the teacher succeeds with them during the school year, many of the parents feel less confident for them over the summer that they don't seem to be following the advice of teachers. As a result, the teachers would have to start the process all over again at the beginning of the school year.
So parents, don't depend too much on the teachers for your child's development. They are your children, and yours only. It's not the teacher's job to take care of your children, just to teach them academically while it's your job as a parent to teach them independence and make good decisions. In fact, you could still teach them a little education during the summer. Teach them everything you know, such as Math, Science, History, multiple languages; maybe even the Bible.
For a start, engage them into activities. Keep them busy with work so that they have something to do. Maybe have them volunteer at a church or a charity so that they can have a head start. As a volunteer, it helps your child learn to engage in conversations with people and set up some activities.
Teach them how to speak properly to another human being, so that they can learn how to act appropriately in society. Teach them how to read facial expressions (social cues) so they can learn whether the person is or isn't comfortable with the conversation. Teach them more about their strengths and weaknesses so they can discover their gifts.
Give Them Choices
Speaking of which, if you teach them more about their strengths and weaknesses, they will learn how to make the right choices in life. As a matter of fact, the next step to independence is to give them choices!
Remember in my previous blog post when Temple's mother sent her to her aunt's farm for the summer? While Temple didn't want to go, her mother insisted, but not without giving her choices. Either Temple stayed for the summer, or two weeks if she didn't like it. Either way, Temple was still being dropped off to her aunt's farm. In the end, Temple stayed for the whole summer after she found out she enjoyed the farm and shared a special connection with the cattle that resided there.
This is what lead Temple to an independent life as a college professor and bestselling author.
That could also be your child if you do the same thing. At the classroom I work in, one student is given the choice between meltdown or computer at the end of the day. Every time the student chose meltdown, computer gets taken away. As a result, the student begins showing signs of improvement, controlling one's own temper tantrums and being more aware of the consequences.
So as Temple was given the freedom to choose between staying for two weeks, or the whole summer at her aunt's ranch, give your children the choices between one thing or the other. It motivates them to engage more in activities and events.
While they are given a choice between one thing or the other based on an activity you want them to be a part of, you should still make it clear that they are going to be a part of it. Now, I don't mean that you should just "drag them by the leash." I'm not saying you should force them into anything. It's the same thing as when I said in my previous blog post that you should take them out. If you want them to be involved with something, there is no changing their minds.
Of course, if they do change their minds in the last minute, you'd have to be straightforward with the child and say that what you're doing together is already written in stone. Just make it clear that if they don't like doing what they are doing, they can be done at a certain time. If they enjoy the work you got them involved with, you know the rest.
Conclusion: Can Teachers Help?
While my mom worked as a schoolteacher at her own district (she received her degree in education when I was six years old), she taught a lot more at home. While my teachers taught me academically at school, my mom taught me more academically at home. My dad, while he had visitation, taught me as much as he could how to socialize with others. He taught me how to engage in a polite conversation since T.V. talking (which is what my family called my constantly repetitive verbal language) wasn't what he wanted me to live my whole life with. It did take me a while since my dad wasn't around much to teach me the basics, but I still learned from him nonetheless, and I give him credit.
While schoolteachers can't be fully depended on by the parents, that doesn't mean they couldn't be an apprentice or the mentor of an autistic child. As a matter of fact, Temple Grandin credited her science teacher for motivating her to pass challenging subjects such as Math in order to develop the squeeze machine. I've had some great mentors in the academic field, which I will talk about in a later blog post.
Overall, I will be writing in my next blog post about why I believe schoolteachers can be a great influence on your autistic child. What can the schoolteacher do? If you have anything to share about parenting or teaching your child independence, feel free to post a comment below. Overall, thank you very much for reading, and God bless you all!
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