Differences Between Autism and "Normal": Is There Hope? Autism Awareness Week 1

A few days ago, I wrote a blog post concerning the similarities between autism and "normal." That was my way of helping people - whether they are parents, siblings, or even friends - relate to those who are on the autism spectrum. Today, I will be sharing the differences between a typical and autistic child.

I want to make it very clear that this is not to divide any children in any way. This is really to help readers get a better understanding of what goes on in the mind of an autistic child so they can be more aware. That's why we call this month Autism Awareness Month, so that you can be more aware and find a deeper understanding.

It's not entirely easy for me to describe it and it might still be confusing to those who read it, but I'm going to share this in the best way I can as a person who has autism (and a little research in between).

Sensory Issues

One of the most dominant conditions that is very common in autism are sensory issues. This is the first thing I'm going to be writing about because it is something you must be prepared for. Most of you don't have sensory issues so you should know that this might be very useful for you as a way for you to handle this situation.

Sensory issues include the texture of the food (I strain my spaghetti sauce), sense of smell, or even the things they touch. Most children with autism are very picky about their food not necessarily for the taste, but for the texture. Just as I would strain my spaghetti sauce to take away the onions and meat, they could taste and feel the little things that most people don't seem to notice. They pay attention to every detail that goes on in their mouth or even their body, so the experience can be traumatizing to them.

What you really have to look out for is what they hear.

According to Autism Advocate and Animal Science Professor Temple Grandin, when she was a child, hearing the ringing of the school bell was like a bunch of needles piercing into her ears. In other words, it's as if they can physically feel the vibration in their ears. Though sometimes, even the tiniest of sounds could set them off, such as a small beeping noise at a grocery store.

If they start screaming and yelling because of that, you must understand that this is different to "bad behavior." Screaming out of nowhere means that there is something wrong, and it has something to do with what is going on.

Usually this happens when the child is caught off guard. Therefore if this happens once, it might happen again due to the fact that the child might have been traumatized over this event. You must understand that children with autism are easily traumatized and might especially give you a hard time to walk him/her into the grocery store with you. That's why it's important to teach the child to adapt to these situations, that way their situation wouldn't be as painful.

Learning how to help them adapt is another story. Time for the next subject.

Slow Academic Development

While most children on the autism spectrum are more intelligent than they are made out to be, their academic development is still pretty slow.

While I was in Special Ed. for several years, I never understood that what I was learning was for the simple-minded. Though I was aware that I was separated from my regular classmates and homeroom teacher, I never thought that I was learning something different than others. I wasn't even aware that my Special Ed. classmates had learning disabilities.

I learned the hard way when I was a senior in high school, and learned even the harder way when I attended University. Thankfully in high school, I was never held back a grade. When I was in college, however, I got a little taste of something related to that. I had to retake a Math course, as well as a course in Christianity (which, of course, is now my main strength). I insisted that I didn't need any help from my parents or from any system that helps students with disabilities, even though I could hardly understand the long vocabulary that is written in the textbooks. I even had trouble taking notes and listening to every word my professors tell me due to being stuck in my own head.

Eventually, I did ask disability services for help after acknowledging that I wasn't going to graduate with my classmates during my fourth year. I did end up graduating a year after my fourth year, but it was still painful after finding out that I had to take an online course for the summer.

I felt embarrassed at first.

However, it turns out that I shouldn't be embarrassed, and neither should your children. I just keep reminding myself that I'm still learning, even at the age of twenty-four going on twenty-five. As those with autism, we all make mistakes. So don't worry if your child is being held back in the same grade. It just means that he/she might have to learn the same thing more than once.

Perhaps that's why it's easier for most parents to homeschool their autistic children. This isn't a bad thing since it helps the child learn faster, but it's really up to you based upon how differently your child's brain is wired, giving them a different mindset.

What you must understand is that most people on the autism spectrum, whether they are children, teens, or adults have the mindset of a child. Not that it makes them immature as long as they are raised properly, but rather they have a more childish personality. This means they could be more jumpy, or even enjoy children's cartoons for a long period of time. Even I still enjoy watching Mr. Roger's Neighborhood and imitating cartoon characters. I just enjoy being goofy.

Slow development also includes speech delay. That doesn't mean that they won't be able to understand you verbally, but that they may have trouble learning how to speak with their tongues. Their biggest weaknesses are about learning the consonants, which was some of my weaknesses as a child (I called a calculator a "cunkulator"). It took me six years to speak, and then a two extra years to speak in full, perfect sentences. 

As of today, I still feel like a kid.

Uncontrollable Temper Tantrums

Having the mindset of a child can be a good thing, but not always. People with autism (commonly children and teens) could end up with having uncontrollable temper tantrums.

This mostly happens when they don't get the things they want. Many parents have apparently had a child scream in agony probably because they didn't get the toy they wanted for Christmas. As a child, I would often yell at my grandparents because they mostly gave me clothes for Christmas. They mostly laughed about it, but I will admit that I was such a brat when it came to Christmas.

While a typical child would mostly scream for not getting something he/she wants, a child or teen with autism will do more than just that. Not only will you hear them screaming, but also pulling their hair, jumping up and down, slumping on the floor, and even banging their head against the floor no matter how risky it may be for his/her physical health.

Oftentimes, they could be aggressive, making many parents fear their own children when it comes to tantrums. Many parents in today's world don't know how to react when their autistic child is going through a temper tantrum. They are told by doctors that there is no hope for them. So the best way they could think to react to a tantrum is to try their best to make their child happy and end up giving the child what he/she wanted, which spoils them as a result.

Now I want to make it clear that I'm not blaming parents for the current status of their child, nor am I blaming the doctors for saying there is no hope. I'm just stating what goes on in this world and I think we need to be more educated on what needs to be done.

Although I'm not an educator, teacher or doctor, I do have experience, so I'm hoping this is enough.

Constantly "In Their Own World"

Is there a time when you were a child and you would stare at your crush? Would you imagine yourself holding his/her hand while running together in a field of daisies? This is called a daydream. For you it's only temporary, but for children with autism, it's hard to get out.

I like to think of it as sleeping with my eyes open. I'm just constantly in my own happy world filled with adventures and cartoon characters. Because of that, I become less aware of my surroundings - and sometimes - could barely hear when someone calls my name, even when he/she is only a few inches away from me.

Most children with autism feel that way. This is one of the main reasons why they have trouble learning what they need to learn. Not only because it takes more than once to process all the information, but because their thought process is so high they could hardly control it independently.

There are a couple of reasons why they could be this way:

1. They are not interested in a certain subject: In other words, they are probably bored. They don't find anything interesting about a conversation they are involved in and would replace it with something that interests them. Maybe even the picture of Facebook emojis to entertain themselves inwardly.
2. This is their comfort zone: Reality is like the underworld to them. The unfairness of life is hard for them to accept due to the anxiety they have to endure. Being in their own world creates a delusion that their imagination is the "real world" while the real world is a "nightmare." Most often, it has something to do with them feeling lonely and unsafe.

As my dad recently told me, the mind is a really dangerous place and could affect a child's physical as much as his/her mental state. It's not an easy thing for them to accept, but they still have to learn.

Conclusion: Is There Hope?

Is there hope?

Not many people think so. Doctors still tell parents today that there is no hope for their child. That not even the best of medicines could "cure" them of their condition. Therefore, parents feel more insecure and feel too much pity to the point of feeling like their child will never adapt, nor will they ever find meaning into their lives.

As parents, you have to accept that life is short and you won't be able to take care of your child forever. You may be wondering, "Who will take care of my child? Will that person treat my child right? Will my child be safe? Will my child be happy?" On and off, I believe my mom thought the same thing when she had doubts about me. I think it was my stepdad that convinced her that she won't be around forever to take care of me.

Now this isn't to scare you because, yes... THERE IS HOPE!!

I am a man who believes in miracles, because I grew up a miracle. My parents were told by doctors I would never talk, but as you can see, my writing proves them wrong!

So what can you do to find hope? You will find out in my next blog post. If any of you want to share some hope for my readers, feel free to leave a comment below and share your story. Thank you for reading, and God bless you!